what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
