I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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