weddingsv make me drug and hornr
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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