I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr