Texts From Last Night

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  (478): View more from Georgia

  So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Sounds like a really classy character....

  (478): View more from Georgia

  He is classy. It was argyle.

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  (478): So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis (410): Sounds like a really classy character.... (478): He is classy. It was argyle. http://tfl.nu/j1fr
  Replies (18) Good night (6765) Bad night (819)
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  (415): View more from California

  thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.

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  (415): thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america. http://tfl.nu/loag
  Replies (7) Good night (4270) Bad night (585)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.

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  (512): Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks. http://tfl.nu/o3m2
  Replies (13) Good night (663) Bad night (3469)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.

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  (563): The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/35be
  Replies (16) Good night (1001) Bad night (4295)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.

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  (484): Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud. http://tfl.nu/xhdj
  Replies (50) Good night (49014) Bad night (1655)
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  (742): View more from

  What happened last night?

  (1-742): View more from

  You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.

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  (742): What happened last night? (1-742): You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth. http://tfl.nu/koqa
  Replies (5) Good night (953) Bad night (4967)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.

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  (720): i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out. http://tfl.nu/xm4r
  Replies (13) Good night (3904) Bad night (1452)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.

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  (413): he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home. http://tfl.nu/1p9s
  Replies (5) Good night (961) Bad night (3550)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.

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  (540): Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run. http://tfl.nu/gma4
  Replies (3) Good night (2027) Bad night (699)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Was he satisfied?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  No, and very vocal about it.

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  (416): I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home (647): Was he satisfied? (416): No, and very vocal about it. http://tfl.nu/h3jb
  Replies (8) Good night (2620) Bad night (904)
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  (925): View more from California

  Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.

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  (925): Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs. http://tfl.nu/ssx7
  Replies (13) Good night (1941) Bad night (714)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.

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  (518): Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/4mei
  Replies (10) Good night (1703) Bad night (655)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.

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  (541): I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night. http://tfl.nu/uir8
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (489)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.

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  (814): I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag. http://tfl.nu/1d0d
  Replies (6) Good night (1135) Bad night (433)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?

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  (512): So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor? http://tfl.nu/mcjz
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (639)

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