I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
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