Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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