I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
