I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
