I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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