Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
