Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
