my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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