Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
