brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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