I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Drunk is a universal language darling
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