me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
