If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is the high leading the old right now
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
