we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
