did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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