god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I could fuck to npr.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize