windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!