walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me