My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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