Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
if only i could text you this smell
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
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The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
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i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Let's get the cat blown out
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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