Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
