I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize