You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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