Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
