I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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