i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize