God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize