How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize