youre lurking in front of me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
