I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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