im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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