I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
