I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
