What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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