When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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