hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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