And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize