It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize