How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize