AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
