new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize