I am in a vortex of obligation.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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