I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
