Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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