You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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