I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
time to smoke my breakfast
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
