Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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