that's an acceptable place to lick
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
