So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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