Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
