dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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