So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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