My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
