that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
