does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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