We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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