2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
