Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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