We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
