he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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