This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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