Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
sarcasm needs its own font
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Someone signed my nipple.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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